We went to that same restaurant everytime we were in town, for coffee and occasionally a Muffin. Sadly every time it was the same conflict that was triggered there. To say that it made me uncomfortable would be an understatement but I needed to encourage Mouse to eat and show her that she would not put on weight if she ate sensibly and healthily. Not that I could use the word 'healthily' but I tried to get it across as best I could. Sadly the waiters were not trained to cope with people suffering from eating disorders and eventually, to prevent further scenes in public with Monique we stopped visiting there. After leaving the movies one Friday evening we stopped in at another popular franchise for coffee and found some really delightful waiters there. This then became our favourite spot, we even befriended some of the staff and became friendly with the owner, who used share her aspirations for the shop with us regularly. After an incident with one of the waiters who made a thoughtless remark and was chastised for it, the place became a haven for all three of us, Mouse, Monique and myself. We were able to sit there and discuss the order of the day without feeling that we were being watched or pressured into a quick decision. I would often sit and have an Espresso while we discussed what Mouse was going to eat or drink. The lease on the franchise came to an end and the owner, wisely, decided not to renew but to convert to her own very successful Coffee Shop and Snack Bar.
Mouse used Monique to manipulate me into always giving her what she wanted. The nearest town of any significance is 70Km away and whenever Mouse wanted to go there, Monique would suggest we go for a 'meal'. Once there Mouse would disappear into oblivion and I would be left with Monique. If we were going to have something to eat she would have a panic attack while we were discussing the menu. This panic attack would disappear as soon as I agreed that we would just go back home after a cup of coffee. It was very frustrating not to have the right words to say in order to convince Mouse that the food she would be eating will not make her fat. All I could do was watch as this girl was slowly being tortured to death by Anorexia. Mouse had now lapsed into a total abstinence of food. She would only drink coffee but fortunately she did not stop the vitamin and mineral tablets. When the situation between Monique and I became too tense, I would give her some calming tablets which eventually subdued her and peace would once again reign. I had to be very careful not to allow her to progress to subscription drugs because I do believe that I would not have been able prevent her becoming addicted. I therefore looked for all natural supplements and tranquilizers.
I was always very pedantic about her not neglecting her family by ensuring that she visited her parents regularly and stayed in contact with her sister and brother. When we visited her parents we always timed our arrival to coincide with them finishing a meal, we would then only be obliged to have a cup of coffee or tea with them. In that way it was possible for Mouse to hide the fact that she was not eating. I learned very early that it was not worth speaking to them about Mouse's disease as they did not understand and were quite harsh on her. After about three months of not eating I became very concerned for Mouse and asked a family member to speak to her explaining that she was losing too much weight and that her health was at stake. The result was not what I expected given that, by that time the family had been aware of her disease for about six years. It went something like this; "You must stop this crap of yours now. You are being selfish and just making everybody worried about you." By now malnutrition had perpetuated amenorrhea in Mouse and she was developing a degree of hypothalamic dysfunction as well. On the warmest of days she would wear long pants and sweat jackets as she was always feeling cold. Although amenorrhea could be the result of malnutrition, it is not the only cause, neither is it a given that all anorexia sufferers will develop amenorrhea. I was now beginning to fear for her survival; according to ongoing studies the mortality rate of anorectics is as high as 10% to 15%. Further studies show that as little 25% to 33% of anorexia nervosa sufferers completely recover. All in all, the prognosis was very bleak.
2006
Everytime we seemed to be making some progress with Mouse's frame of mind someone would attack her or say something inappropriate which would result in having to retrace at least three weeks of work. Mouse started visiting a psychologist once a week which assisted me a great deal as she was able to convince Mouse that I was not the enemy. We progressed to the point where Mouse even went to see a nutritionist. Unfortunately, there was way too much talk about food in the interview and Mouse came away from her totally bewildered and never went back. She continued seeing the psychologist for about four months and then felt strong enough to go to the Rehabilitation Center which we had visited about eighteen months earlier. We made an appointment, packed our bags and set off again on another 1500Km trip. When the nutritionist at the center calculated Mouse's BMI we were told that it was too low and she needed to go to an institution for mental diseases and return to the center when she had gained some weight. That idea did not sit well with Mouse at all and we returned home, having achieved nothing but a long tiring trip and a very happy Monique who didn't stop gloating all the way back home.
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